Estrangement and Die Hard

first off, Merry Christmas. Whoever you are.

I’m in pajamas sitting next to an overstimulated lap dog named Buster watching Die Hard with the family.

And sweet Jesus stop with the whats a christmas movie debate, no one gives a shit. I digress.

I’ve watched about 4 Christmas movies in the last 24 hours, and one of the constant themes is estrangement. Usually of men from their family.

The Santa Claus for example. Big dumb Tim Allen works too much, his kid feels neglected. Bruce Willis is the rogue cop trying to make it right with his wife. etc..

On significant days, good or bad, one of the most common things we do is look around. We take stock of the people around us, and the status of those relationships.

All of these holidays movies are about people finding ways to overcome the estrangement.

I don’t have anything deep or intelligent to say about this. There are lots of reasons to become estranged from someone. Not all of them negative.

Sometimes people just get carried on a different current out of your life. Sometimes a moment goes wrong, and you can’t get it back and don’t know how. Sometimes you get hurt. Sometimes you do the hurting.

There are lots of reasons to lose step. But there is really only one way back.

Whoever you are, whoever you are estranged from, you have to do the cartography for yourself. Is the distance covered worth the person lost.

The Christian background in me says that the shepherd leaves the flock and goes after the 1 lost sheep. I don’t believe that sheep always deserves it now. Some sheep wander away because they were troubled, and some sheep are just assholes.

But I know in my heart that there are people who we lose along the way that will come back.

As much as I can, I try to keep my channels open. Its hard for me because I am by nature a grudge keeper. I do my best by people, so if they fuck me, the grudge is the fence I build to remind myself of the infraction.

But the end of the year/holiday season has its own magic. Its like a cosmic cease fire. A rare moment when the regular rules of who is on what side fade away, and its just people with people.

Whoever you are, I hope that the people that are lost to you prematurely find their way back. And if you are the lost, you find your way back to them.

Merry Christmas